Am I a Good Mom?
“There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.” – Jill Churchill
Comparison Is The Thief of Joy
In this day of social media, comparing ourselves to others is hard to escape. This is especially true when it comes to the most important job of all- being a mom!
One pass through Facebook, Instagram or the local park will have you feeling like you could never measure up to all the other “perfect” moms out there. Whether you are pregnant or have four kiddos whirling around you, comparisons to others, added to our own unrealistic expectations, can make us feel less than adequate and can rob us of the joy in this important job of developing these tiny humans into fully functioning adults!
Keep Perspective
Here are a few things to remember as a parent:
- Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself and extend grace to yourself! Remind yourself of the end goal.
- One bad day (when you have lost it too many times to count) does not define you as a parent.
- Children are resilient especially when they know that you love them and want the best for them.
- “This too shall pass” are four little words that can get you through most stages or situations with your kids that are especially trying.
Focus on What you can Control
Here are a few suggestions of things you can do to become the best mother for your children:
- Don’t compare yourself to others. Care deeply about what is best for your kids not how others see you or think about you.
- Act and react with love and kindness on your child’s behalf, and when you blow it, be quick to ask for forgiveness. Kids will learn more from this than anything else you do!
- Ask for help, ask for wisdom, ask for prayer from others who have walked the road of motherhood! We are all in this together!
- Practice being grateful. Thankfulness for even the little things like fixing a snack, folding another load of laundry, or tucking a toddler in at the end of a long day can be a game changer when it comes to our attitudes and mental health.
Go Easy On Yourself
Being a mom is hard work, but trying to be a “perfect” mom is REALLY hard work! The love you have for your child will cover a multitude of the mistakes that you will surely make over the years while parenting. It is good to realize that children are not the only ones who are growing and developing!
As parents, we can also grow into people with more patience, grace, forgiveness, flexibility and love. The journey of parenting little ones can seem unending, but it will be over before you know it! Savor the great privilege! Remember, you are the perfect mother for your child!
Find Encouragement When You Need It
Could you benefit from encouragement, wisdom, and tools for your parenting journey? Check out the Every Family parenting program. During your time in the program, you’ll meet one-on-one with a parenting coach and dive in to relevant topics for your family.
In addition, after each session, you will earn points that can be used to shop in our clothing closet which is stocked with baby items including diapers, wipes, equipment items, clothing, and more! Contact the office closest to you for more information.
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People of First Care: Emilie’s Story
I was just a freshman in college when I found out I was pregnant. I was a high achiever with a plan for my life, which did not include getting pregnant and parenting.
When I found out, I was in total shock. I told my parents and they were as shocked as I was. They were a little bit disappointed, but very supportive.
Making a Decision
My first meeting with one of the staff at First Care sticks out to me. We spent a lot of time talking about how I was feeling, what I was thinking, what I was concerned about.
I’m wired by nature to want to know the information and make a plan and stick to the plan.
Instead, my time at First Care caused me to dig into what was going on in my head and heart: what I wanted, what I was scared about, what I imagined for my future and how my options fit into that.
First Care provided me with helpful information and long term goals to think about. As I thought through my options, I did consider adoption, but ultimately realized I wanted to raise my child. I knew I could do it because there was support available, even if my relationship with the baby’s father was complicated and difficult.
Finding Support in Parenting
After I made my decision, I enrolled in their parenting program called Every Family and attended once a week throughout my pregnancy.
Through this program, I was able to learn about healthy development and growth. I was also able to meet with Parenting Coaches who were genuinely interested in my life and how I was doing. This program helped me feel less anxious about becoming a mother and it also provided me with practical items, such as diapers and clothes for my baby.
My son was born in May of 2015 and being his mom has been absolutely awesome. It hasn’t been without hardship, but the joys have far outweighed the hard days.
Since then, I graduated from the parenting program after two years in the program. I finished college with two degrees and I married the love of my life, a man who has been a part of my son’s life since he was four months old.
First Care is a safe place to talk about how you are feeling and thinking and not have to worry about everyone’s opinion. There really is no judgment or pressure. I am so thankful for my experience there and for being able to be a mom.
Follow us on Instagram for more inspiring quotes and stories. @firstcaremn #peopleoffirstcare
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Is Parenting the Right Choice for Me?
Parenting can be overwhelming, whether your pregnancy was planned or not. But parenting can also be very rewarding. Although very few parents will tell you they were “ready” to become a parent when they became pregnant, many parents will say they are so glad they chose to parent.
If you’re trying to figure out if parenting is the right choice for you, consider these questions:
What Would I Really Enjoy About Being a Parent?
There are many aspects about parenting that bring joy: cuddling with your newborn, watching your toddler learn how to walk and then talk, or seeing your child grow as they go off to school, make friends, and place their mark on the world. What pieces of being a parent do you think you’d enjoy? Which aspects would you look forward to experiencing?
What Would be Difficult About Being a Parent Right Now?
Parenting isn’t always a walk in the park. Which aspects of being a parent do you perceive as being difficult for your right now? In what ways would that impact your parenting? How would you, or could you, get support in these areas?
What Support Do I Have?
Friends? Family? A partner? Other parents? Who do you have in your life that can cheer you on, be with you during the tough nights or even babysit. Are there organizations that can help support you financially or with material items? Here at First Care, we provide support and education for new parents until their child is age 5. Through individual coaching and group classes, you can find some of the support and practical items you will need to parent.
Have I Thought Through All My Options?
It’s important to take the time to consider all of your pregnancy options before deciding. This will help you make an informed decision, and one you can look back on in five years, knowing you considered all your options. Thinking in the long term, what would be a benefit for each of your options, Parenting, Abortion, Adoption? What would be difficult about each? How do you think you think you’ll feel in a year or two years about each option? Are there people in your life that are pressuring you to choose one option or another? Which one do you really want?
Parenting is Expensive. How Will I Provide for My Baby and Myself?
What support do you have around you that can help provide for you and your baby? At First Care, we are honored to walk alongside you and help you prepare to parent. We will meet with you as often as you like and provide parenting education and material support to make sure you are fully ready and prepared for parenthood. Regardless of whether your pregnancy was planned or not, you are qualified to parent.
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I Want to Parent, but Need Help
Making the decision to parent is a major life decision, but one that should be celebrated and supported! At First Care we are ready to join you in both celebrating this decision and helping you prepare to be the best parent you can be. We offer a variety of services to provide you with support and help as you begin your journey as a new mom or dad. Our goal is to support you through this journey so you can parent with confidence.
Birth Classes
As you enter the final stages of pregnancy, consider joining one of our birth classes to help you prepare for both labor and delivery, but also the first days and weeks of parenting. We will cover topics such as mother and baby care.
Resources & Referrals
Our Licensed Social Workers or Client Advocates are a great resource for you as you need additional resources to aid in your parenting. Our staff are well connected to a variety of community resources and can help connect you to the resources you need. We provide referrals for baby items and equipment, counseling, basic needs, and more.
One-on-One Parenting Coaching
Through our Every Family parenting program, we offer parenting education and support to thousands of families each year. During an Every Family appointment, you will meet one-on-one with a Parenting Coach who will get to know you and your family. You will have an opportunity to discuss your parenting challenges, select lessons relevant to these challenges, and leave each session with practical tips on how you can apply your new knowledge at home. Every Family participants are welcome to scheduling an individual coaching session up to twice per month.
Material Support
After each Every Family coaching session, you will earn points that can be used to shop in one of our clothing closets. Each closet is stocked with practical items for your baby including diapers, wipes, baby clothes, maternity clothes, and equipment.
Schedule an Appointment
Contact the location nearest to you to get started!
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