Preparing to Be a Dad: What Guys Should Know in the First Trimester
Finding out you’re going to be a dad can bring a lot of thoughts at once. You may be excited, caught off guard, worried about money, or wondering what your role is supposed to look like this early in the pregnancy.
You don’t need to have fatherhood figured out during the first trimester. But there are practical ways to show up now, learn what’s happening, and start preparing for the months ahead.
First Care offers free, confidential services for pregnant women, partners, and families, including prenatal and parenting education and connections to community resources. Contact First Care to learn how you can get involved and prepare together.
1. Learn What’s Happening During the First Trimester
The first trimester lasts through the end of week 13, and a lot is happening during this time. Your partner may experience nausea, fatigue, breast tenderness, food aversions, mood changes, or other symptoms. Some women have very few symptoms at all.
One of the most useful things you can do is learn alongside her. Ask what she needs rather than assuming, and recognize that what feels like an ordinary day to you may feel very different to her physically.
If she hasn’t started prenatal care, this is also a good time to begin looking for a provider. First Care can provide referrals for prenatal and other medical care and help connect families with additional community resources.
2. Start Talking About What You Both Need
Preparing for a baby isn’t limited to buying a crib or picking a name. The first trimester is a good opportunity to start talking about the practical side of becoming parents.
What will work and school look like? How are your finances? What kind of childcare might you need? Who can you count on for help? You don’t have to solve every question at once, but talking about them early can help you identify where you may need additional resources.
And listen to what your partner is worried about. Sometimes being a good partner means fixing a problem. Other times, it means hearing her out without immediately trying to solve it. If you’re not sure which one she needs, it’s okay to ask: “Do you want help thinking this through, or do you just need me to listen?” Simple things like “I’m in this with you” could land better than jumping straight to a plan.
3. Take an Active Role in the Pregnancy
You may not be the one experiencing the physical changes, but you can still be involved.
Go to appointments when your partner wants you there. Keep track of the questions you both want to ask. Learn about pregnancy and childbirth. Take on a few extra responsibilities when she isn’t feeling well.
It’s common for dads to feel a step removed early on, since you aren’t the one carrying the pregnancy. Small things help close that gap: being there for the ultrasound, following along with the baby’s development week by week, and talking with your partner about what you’re both picturing. Connection tends to grow the more involved you are.
You can also attend prenatal education together. First Care offers free pregnancy classes that cover each trimester, and a support person can attend. Later in pregnancy, birth classes cover labor, delivery, postpartum care, breastfeeding, newborn care, and care for mom.
4. Get Practical About Money and Resources
It’s normal for finances to become a bigger concern once a baby is on the way. Instead of trying to calculate the next 18 years at once, start with what your family will need during pregnancy and the baby’s first months.
Review your current budget, insurance coverage, parental leave, childcare options, and any expenses you can begin planning for now.
If finances or basic needs are already difficult, ask for help early. First Care can connect families with resources for needs such as medical care, housing, food, childcare, baby supplies, and other practical concerns.
5. It’s Okay to Have Your Own Feelings
Most pregnancy information focuses on mom and baby, so it’s easy to feel like your job is only to hold everything together for everyone else. But you’re going through a big change too. Feeling excited one moment and anxious the next is normal, and so is wondering whether you’re ready.
You don’t have to carry that quietly. Talk with your partner about how you’re doing, lean on other dads who have been through it, and know that First Care’s services are for partners, not only for moms. If you have questions or concerns of your own, you’re welcome to reach out.
6. Remember That You’re Learning, Too
A lot of pregnancy information naturally focuses on mom and baby, which can leave dads wondering where they fit.
You’re becoming a parent, too. It’s reasonable to have questions or feel unsure about things you’ve never done before. Preparing to be a dad isn’t about knowing everything. It’s about becoming more engaged and capable as the pregnancy progresses.
First Care’s parenting education continues beyond pregnancy through its Every Family Parenting Program, which provides education and individual support for families with children up to age five.
This Week: A Few Things You Can Do
- Ask your partner what she needs, rather than guessing or assuming.
- Learn what’s happening in the first trimester so you know what to expect.
- Start one honest conversation about work, money, or the help you’ll need.
- Offer to go to the next appointment if she wants you there.
- Reach out to First Care to see what classes and resources are available.
Start Preparing Together
The first trimester is just the beginning. Use these early months to learn, talk openly with your partner, and start building the practical skills and resources your family may need.
Contact First Care to find the location nearest you and learn more about parenting and the resources available to you and your partner. First Care currently has locations in Minneapolis, Richfield, Rochester, Saint Paul, University, and Woodbury.
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